You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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