idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
