I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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