So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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