That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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