Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
