can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
