Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
