its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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