i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize