i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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