I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
