Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
