worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
