why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I feel like a drive thru vagina
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
