Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
