thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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