i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
