what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
