so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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