Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
