It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
