BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
