I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
