Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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