i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
