i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
