ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i dont even know how to be here
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
