my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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