the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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