omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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