sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
