I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
