I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize