He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
