You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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