I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
