we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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