I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize
