5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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