I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize