oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
