Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
