FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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