At least make sure they are 18
Why
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
