Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
