fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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