He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
