we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
