these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
