things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
