Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize