Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
