How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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