i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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