would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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