:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
