Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize