literally had 100 drinks last night.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
