youre lurking in front of me
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
