It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
