do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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