Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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