PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
