how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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