i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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