forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
