My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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