Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize