Duck Duck Cougar?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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