3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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